Successful Speed Dater

Want to be a successful speed-dater here are some useful pointers

  • If you are warm and friendly …. With a sunny disposition ….. you are more likely to be chosen / preferred.
  • Dress your best, neither too toned down nor too fussy …. let your innate style speak for itself.  On many city events it has been found especially during the week, most people come straight from work in suits.  At the weekends though the dress code is more relaxed with some people in jeans. 
  • Go to the speed-dating event well groomed – since the time span is short it is external appearances that make an impression.  Clean, stylish hair, subtle make up, well manicured and polished hands and feet, and a stylish and fashionable pair of shoes /sandals, that are coordinated with your attire, and so on.
  • Many make a beeline for the “sexy” that is within the borders of acknowledged good taste. However this aspect is really a matter of personal opinion.
  • Since speed dating is 90% visual you must make the best of yourself – enhance your good features and tone down the unattractive. If you are unsure of yourself take the advice of a professional stylist / beautician, or a close friend.
  • Go to the event with a positive attitude, make up your mind to enjoy yourself, & don’t worry about nerves.  Chances are everyone is in the same boat as you, and it won’t take long to get used the concept.  If you go with an open mind, the chances are you will have an amazing time!

What it entails in practical terms is:

A person/club/religious group /or community to “host”/plan a “Speed Dating,” meet. They will advertise the event in many interesting ways and invite registrations. The ambience and other details are usually carefully planned to make the persons feel comfortable and at ease.

A speed-dating event will have: 

  • An equal number of men and women.
  • Seating for “couples”—chairs placed in twos, generally opposite each other at a table.
  • An opportunity to get to know each other—a few minutes (there is a varied choice of events now 3, 4, 8 minutes, etc. but 3mins seems to be the most common).
  • Usually the men will be the ones to then move on to the next tables.
  • Each person marks “yes” or “no” as a possible date against the name of each person they meet.
  • Every “yes” means that this person could be what I am looking for in a partner, or just that you are willing to meet this person again.

After the event, the hosts / organisers provide contact information for all the matches.  This may be done on the same night, but some organisers now offer the opportunity to go home, & think about your dates, to then fill in your matches on line.  From most of the events will get you the results within 2 days.  Some people have likened this to waiting for exam results …….. I’d beg to differ, surely it is more fun, (nail-biting maybe, but fun none the less!!).

Why the concept is interesting and has caught on is that the participants have a limited amount of time to “size up” one another and, in a given period of time they get to meet at least 20-30 possible partners.

The first speed dating events were between 7-8 minutes because this was the time considered to be the perfect length of time to find out a little about each other – no more and not less. This gives the couple enough time to introduce themselves and ask a few relevant questions. Once the “bell” rings it is time to meet the next person – so, there is no opportunity for long silences or awkwardness.

However, evidence and research have suggested that we make all the decisions about whether we want to meet a person within 3 minutes (possibly even the 1st few seconds?!), so in all honesty it comes down to personal preference…… go with what your happiest with.  One thing to bear in mind is, if you don’t get on with your date then 8 minutes is going to be a very long, and potentially uncomfortable period …….. , & on the other hand 3 minutes could be enough to leave you craving more!

How accurate or successful one is at making “immediate/fast” impressions that are real depends on the individual concerned.